Fox

Hulu: Please Resurrect The Mindy Project

Dear Hulu,

I was just about to go to bed, dreaming of things like Danny Castellano doing his Diamond Dan dance, as one does, when a tweet caught my eye. This tweet, this dreadful tweet, told me some devastating, completely unexpected news: FOX has cancelled The Mindy Project.

Please give me a moment.

Moment.

Thank you. After a quick bout of “WTF” and “I think I’m going to be sick,” I immediately saw a second tweet. An angel of redemption that went like this: Variety

Hulu, my new best friend, is this true? Or is this a cruel rumor of the interwebs? Hulu, I must advise you to not take this decision lightly. The Mindy Project is not a show with which to be trifled. Too much has been invested in it. Danny and Mindy are expecting a baby. Danny has flown all the way to India to meet Mindy’s parents. ARE WE SUPPOSED TO MOVE ON WITH OUR LIVES WITHOUT KNOWING HOW THE STORY ENDS?!

No, Hulu, no we are not. You have the chance here to mend broken hearts and restore ruined dreams across the globe. Do not hesitate to do what is right during this pivotal time in television history. Do not hesitate to take on The Mindy Project. We will reward you for it. I do not have a Hulu account, but I will buy one just for this. If you won’t do it for the tenderhearted of the world, at least do it for the money.

I leave you to make you decision. One that I hope will be the right decision.

All the best,

PopCultured

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Sleepy Hollow Returns! Tonight on Fox, 9:00 pm ET

The weather by me has taken a turn this evening. What began as a beautiful day is now grey, windy, and with barely a hint of sun. Some say it’s humidity interacting with cold air.

I say it’s Mother Nature welcoming the return of Sleepy Hollow.

The only thing missing is a badass leftenant and a hottie from the 1700s. But I can find those easily, nay?

I can barely wrap my head around what happened last season, but I’ll do my best to relay the gist of it here. Turns out Henry, the trusted sineater friend of Abbie and Ichabod, is actually Ichabod’s son. Rather inconvenient considering he’s actually the second horseman of the apocalypse, whose life mission is to end the world along with the two witnesses’ (Abbie and Ichabod) lives. Talk about some awkward family drama.

Last we saw of Abbie Mills and Ichabod Crane, the two were in less-than-auspicious circumstances thanks to Henry’s devious machinations. Abbie was stuck in purgatory, while Ichabod had been buried alive by the man…is there a winner for worst tight spot to be in? I’m not sure–Abbie may have oxygen, but it’s not like she can claw her way out of her situation. Still, patricide, that’s a pretty bad offense, Henry, oh Henry.

Then there was some business about saving Katrina from Purgatory, which ended up being a not-so-smooth plan, as it meant Abbie had to stay behind (two souls enter purgatory? two souls leave).

And when Katrina returned to the present world, her welcoming was far from pleasant, as her son agreed to hand her over to the headless horsemen. Welcome home, ma!

Oh, and I think Abbie’s sister Jenny was in a car accident, and Captain Frank Irving was in jail for a murder he didn’t commit.

So, yes, everyone is doing just smashingly in Sleepy Hollow. No idea how these characters can all come back from the brink, but the show almost gave me a heart attack by last season’s end, so it better be able to resuscitate me and a few of my favorites. I’ll try to post a recap tomorrow, and hopefully it will be more coherent than this guessing game. (But I mean, this show is confusing as hell, ya know?) Until then, cheerio and Godspeed.

It’s been too long since I’ve seen this face.

The Mindy Project: Shine Bright Like a Diamond

It’s been four months since season two of The Mindy Project ended, and the wait for season three has been long and arduous for all of us Mindy devotees.

But if last night’s premiere is any indication, the wait for season three has been well worth it.

The episode brought us many things: Mindy’s ever-impressive printed dress collection, more details than we’d care to know about Morgan’s criminal history, a love triangle, and last, but certainly not least, an unexpected strip tease.

I could go into detail about all of the above, but really, I think we all just care about the strip tease.

Upon discovering a pink thong with the name “Diamond” studded across the, er, private area hidden in Danny’s drawer, Mindy wonders what her conservative, typically unadventurous boyfriend has been keeping from her. With the help of apparent thong-gurus Peter and Morgan, Mindy learns the item is a stripper thong (due to its easily detachable straps), but more specifically, a male stripper thong (because as Morgan so keenly observes, it has a pouch for the, um, main attraction). After a quick Google search, Mindy finds the website for “Exquisite Butts Guys2K Party.” None other than Danny aka “Diamond Dan,” bare chested and hunkified, covers the homepage.

When confronted about his secret past, Danny tells Mindy he never divulged his secret because Mindy can’t keep anything to herself. After all, just that morning Mindy was explaining to the entire office how proficient Danny was in certain bedroom maneuvers. I can’t repeat any of what was actually said because this blog must remain PG.

Mindy informs Danny that the only reason she lets tells the office everything about their relationship is because it seems too good to be true, and she’s trying to convince herself it’s real. And in what is one of the best sentimental Danny moments (because his best moment of the episode has yet to come, I assure you), he tells her, “It’s real,” with a grin and an adoring gaze. Oh, be still my heart.

But this is The Mindy Project, and we cannot simply leave it at that sappy wonderful end. No, we must go further into the night with gumption and gusto before the credits roll. Did Mindy think she could tell us about Diamond Dan and then not give us more?! No, no she did not. Enter: The Diamond Dan Strip Tease. That’s right, Tuesday’s episode ended with Danny Castellano emerging from the bathroom, Lenny Kravitz’s “American Woman” blaring in the background, stripping, gyrating, and shocking us all with his best Magic Mike moves. If you didn’t cry from laughing so hard/have a hot flash, please see someone as you might have an incurable disease.

What ran through my mind as I watched Chris Messina tear open his shirt and shake his derriere is that this is the same man who played Vicky’s clueless husband in Vicky Cristina Barcelona and Amy Adam’s sweet, supportive husband in Julie and Julia. And all I could think was, “Thank you, Mindy, for discovering this man’s true talent. And forcing him to display it on national television.” Get this man an Emmy nod and a role in Magic Mike 2. His skills have been kept hidden from us all for far too long.

So for The Mindy Project, and for Chris Messina, I thank Mindy Kaling for giving us the best in comedy currently on television. If you don’t watch this show, please start. Or at least Google “Chris Messina Diamond Dan scene.” Your life will be better for it.

Posting this at the end. Because if you’re being honest with yourself, you know this is all you wanted to see.

The Mindy Project is Back! So is New Girl…

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME MINDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY?!

All right, folks, grab a bottle of Pinot, your finest pint of Ben & Jerry’s, and your cheetah print PJs. Tonight The Mindy Project is back on Fox and we’ve got to celebrate properly.

Last Mindy left us, she’d just been rescued on the roof of the Empire State Building by Danny Castellano while Dancing in the Dark played in the background. It was the cheesiest, most hilarious, and most romantic romcom sitcom moment since Ross and Rachael kissed outside Central Perk. Mindy must be so proud.

This season I hope they don’t just let the relationship fizzle out, a la Nick and Jess on New Girl. SPEAKING OF WHICH, that little number premieres tonight also. Last season bummed me out a little. The return of Coach to the show just didn’t feel natural, and it seemed like the show’s only punchline was making Nick sound dumber than usual and making us all feel dumb for playing along. Maybe this season they’ll return to their season two glory, generating genuine belly laughs and making us ask, “Did Schmidt really just say that?”

But I’m most excited to see the Danny-Mindy love play out in the work place. Now that the whole office knows Danny is madly in love with the girl, I’m assuming there will be some good ribbing from Drs. Reed and Prentice, and let’s all hope Morgan offers up his best dating advice, because something tells me it’s worth hearing.

I’ll be live tweeting the show, so be sure to stay connected at @PopCultured_!

I Wanna Marry Harry: Finale Recap

Well, mates, I promised you I’d watch the finale of I Wanna Marry Harry and report back to you with the winner.

It only took me seven days, but I did it.

But before we get to the final results, let’s have a brief recap of the show’s last episode.

Matt narrowed the ladies down to three: Katrina, Kelley, and Kimberly. (The KKK, I’m just now noticing. Oh dear.) In a move that suggests Fox knew this show wasn’t going to last long, the girls each get a very brief last date with Matt. No, seriously–Matt went out with all three of the girls in one day, just long enough for one glass of champagne and one quick peck on the cheek. Maybe they thought it would be easier for Matt to make his decision if he didn’t have time to think on it?

First up, Kelley and Matt go for a romantic meal at the top of the Gherkin in London. Kelley compliments Matt on how perfectly royal he is (ha, oh girl, if only you knew/were smart), and also takes the opportunity to tell Matt the other girls aren’t here for the right reasons. Anyone who’s ever watched The Bachelor knows that talking smack about other contestants is the first way to get your ass sent home! Reality Dating TV 101! Naturally, Matt is immediately turned off by Kelley’s catty antics.

Next, Matt and Katrina enjoy a spin on the London Eye. Despite looking like a royal herself (her last name is Kennedy), Katrina seems genuinely into the pale, ginger-haired Matt. Matt is definitely into Katrina, but it seems more of a physical attraction than anything else, which leads us to…

Kimberly. Ah, Kimberly, the only girl on the show who seems like a truly sweet person who is completely unaware of just how much of a catch she is. Who would have thought the nicest girl on the show would be from Long Island? The two meet atop the Tower Bridge (ulgh, jealousy) and are endearingly cute together. (Yes, I just used the phrase “endearingly cute” in reference to this show.)

When it comes time to send one of the girls home, Matt sends Kelley packing. Good job, Matt! I approve!

The following evening, the two finalists are treated to a winter wonderland on the castle grounds, complete with fake falling snow. It looked more like your high school’s attempt at a winter dance, but hey, this is the same show that’s trying to pass off a commoner as Prince Harry, so what did I expect?2014-06-16 16_20_36-Greenshot

After some one on one time with the ladies (who surprisingly are the two least cattiest women in the history of reality dating competitions), Matt must make his final decision. After much hemming and hawing and assistance from the ever loyal Kingsley, Matt makes up his mind.

Now, without further ado, it is time to announce the winner of I Wanna Marry Harry.

Drum roll please.

Da dum da dum da dum.

Seriously trying to give all you people who don’t want to be spoiled a chance to close out your window right now.

Da dum da dum da dum.

KIMBERLY.

Bravo, Matt! Katrina was emotional about Matt’s rejection, and I just wanted to say, “My dear, it’s you who’s won! You! He’s not Prince Harry! Open your eyes, dear girl!” (It was like I was Lady Grantham and she was Lady Edith, ya feel?)

Kimberly is overwhelmed by Matt’s choosing her, but wait! He must still reveal the truth about his identity. Taking many awkward swallows, as is his tendency, Matt finally tells Kimberly that is in fact not Prince Harry but the imposter, Matt Hicks. When asked if she cares, Kimberly shrugs it off and accepts Matt for who is.

Wait. What? Kimberly, there is a spot in heaven for you. You are seriously the nicest person to ever sign up for a reality tv show.

The two kiss as a sea of fireworks sparkle into the sky around them.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE. There's More

Kingsley stops the two’s embrace to reveal that because Kimberly has accepted Matt for who he really is, the two are to be awarded with $250,000.

SHUT UP. Hec I would have signed up for this show and pretended to think this guy was Prince Harry, too, if I’da know that was gonna happen at the end.

The lovebirds are drawn away from their winter wonderland in a horse and carriage as Mickey Mouse comes out to sing “When You Wish Upon Star” and the credits roll.

Okay, that last part didn’t happen, but the horse and carriage did. So I guess this makes Matt Cinderella? Right?

Still, the show is not ended yet. The next day, the two leave their stately estate and are presented with a double bicycle. I wish I could say I rolled my eyes, but guys, it was SO ADORABLE. Matt and Kim double cyced right outta their castle home and into the sunset of tomorrowland. 2014-06-16 16_42_22-Greenshot

Sure, the show was ridiculous, but hot damn that was a good ending.

“I Wanna Marry Harry” Cancelled!

Oh, bollocks. It would seem, dear persons, that, in fact, no one wants to marry Harry.

Was it the dyed ginger hair? The lack of a gap between the frontal incisors? The not glinty-enough eyes? What could have possibly deterred viewers from a show that highlighted the barely-there intelligence of the average American woman and transformed a no-name Brit into one of the most famous royals of our day?

I'd like to have seen the look on Meghan's face when she heard the news.

I’d like to have seen the look on Meghan’s face when she heard the news.

Enough with the questions. Let’s get down to business. This show was cancelled because apparently none of the producers has ever watched a single episode of The Bachelor and has no idea how to construct an even semi-working dating show. Let’s be real—what was missing here was roses and Chris Harrison.

I, for one, am very glad about this cancellation. Two recaps were enough, but I couldn’t imagine doing ten more. The brain cells–dying, they were. I may, though, take it upon myself to watch the finale. Fox has been kind enough to set the episodes free for us on Fox.com and Hulu. I didn’t invest two hours of my time into this show not to find out how the final girl reacts! I’ll try to get back to you with the final result as quickly as I can. Even if it means forcing myself not to fall asleep halfway through the episode and replaying scenes so I can get the quotes down to the exact detail, I shall prevail!

Cheerio, mates. The world is better off. I hear reruns of The Mindy Project will play in its place. Divine providence has indeed interceded.

I Wanna Marry Harry: Ep. 2 Recap

Here it is, folks! My recap of Episode 2 of I Wanna Marry Harry. May you learn here what you were dying to know.